The life cycle is all backwards

The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What’s that, a bonus? I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, you get a gold watch, you go to work. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You do drugs, alcohol, you party, and you get ready for high school. You go to grade school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last nine months floating… you finish off as an orgasm.

- George Carlin

P-noy’s Shoes

P-noy's Shoes

PLAIN shoes for President Aquino, who aims to lead by example.

That’s good. No more $20,000 dollar dinner by a president, I suppose.

Then on another article the stylist of P-noy said the shoes was a…. FERRAGAMO.

Whoa! Ferragamo! The best shoe brand that exists! And of course, one of the most expensive shoes that exist.

But then the stylist said all the things that P-noy wore on his inauguration were gifts from friends.

Oh, okay. I would take that as truth.

Then I thought, just because the president’s wearing “plain” shoes, that’s already a good example?

I don’t mean to criticize P-noy here. The inauguration has just passed and I still remain optimistic about his leadership. What I want to criticize is how people think about “good and bad” example based on shoes and clothes, based on style.

It’s like some people are saying: P-noy is a good president, because he’s wearing plain shoes. PGMA isn’t a good president, because she’s so fashionista and she’s wearing shoes with high heels.

How can you expect a woman to be “plain” when our culture says that in formal occasions, women should wear shoes with high heels, should wear makeup etc.etc..?

This reminds me of a song’s title: “Ta*ng-i** mo! Ang daming nagugutom sa mundo, fashionista ka pa rin!”

Perhaps they don’t know that being a “fashionista” isn’t equal to being indifferent to the world’s hunger and also isn’t equal to being a big-spender. Fashion is arts. Fashion is about self-expression. Even what you call “plain” or simple is also a kind of fashion, a style.

Unlike a woman, a man appears to be more masculine if he’s plain.

Be surprised if P-noy’s fashion style is not plain.

Eiga Sai Film Fest (mis)adventure

We planned to watch the 4:30pm movie screening at Eiga Sai Film Fest. But like most of the plans in life, it didn’t happen as we like.

For the uninitiated, Eiga Sai film Fest happens every July, in celebration of the Philippine-Japan friendship month. One of the best parts? It’s free!

Because of the weather and short supply of Pasig jeepneys, we reached the venue Shangri-la at 4:40pm. We thought it would be okay to enter the theater while the film’s ongoing, so we looked for Cinema 4. There we were greeted by sweet smiles of two staffs, and by a massive bomb-snipping dog. I thought I could even fit inside the dog’s body.

The staff told us tickets were given one hour before the movie started. The next screening was at 7pm so we decided to just wait. We were late for the 4:30pm movie but we were too early for the 7pm movie. Such irony of life.

When we checked the place where we could get tickets, there were already about 6 people who were in line. And I thought we were the only ones who were too early! We fell in line even though it was only 5pm, because we could sense that the people coming in the place were increasing. Right after we fell in line, many people did the same thing too. I knew it, we could lead.

Some of the present people there were Japanese or half japs. There was even a Pinay actress but I couldn’t remember her name.

Then out of the blue, Mashe and Betty asked me if the film’s really free. I said yea, why. They were doubting. I started to doubt what I knew too.

I said “the official website of Eiga says ‘Admission is free’.”

“What if the admission’s free but the tickets are not?”

We laughed at the silly idea.

Then I said if Eiga Sai wasn’t free, then this long line would be incredible! Imagine, they chose Eiga Sai over the celebrated Twilight!

And if a film wasn’t free, you could buy tickets any time. You don’t have to be in a very long queue. Logic logic!

Okay, we gave up. We decided to just ask one of the staffs there. She said it’s really free!

They were punctual, and I love it. They gave us tickets at exactly 6pm.

Inside the theater, we sat just in front of the reserved seats. But it turned out that we were still too close to the screen. The screen was so big and sometimes I had a hard time focusing my eyes.

The movie

The film we watched was Always Sunset on Third Street 2. Its setting is Tokyo, 1959.

It is about a striving novelist Chagawa, who wants to win the Akutagawa award so he can prove that he can give a decent life to his adopted son.

It was a beautiful movie though I hardly remember some scenes. Maybe because it was too long. Or maybe I was too focused on laughing at the scenes. Well, I could say I enjoyed the “journey” (watching the film). I laughed so much on some of the scenes and lines. Yet I also got teary-eyed on some scenes.

I specially like the scene when Betty was reading the lines in the novel that Chagawa wrote. While she was reading it, some of her memories with Chagawa were shown. It was so sweet when Chagawa put an invisible ring to her finger while promising that someday, he’ll give her a real ring.

“The sunset is so beautiful”, (or something like that), a boy in the film said.

“Hey, you’re too young for that line!”his father told him, and mildly hit the child’s head.

And that was the last scene in the movie that I laughed at.

After the movie (The Reserved Girl)

After the movie, we went to rest room. The bond paper that reads “reserved” was pasted on the dress of a girl. I giggled.

“How the heck did that bond paper go there,” I thought. It looked like it was intentionally pasted on her.

It brought back my memory about first year high school, the time when were so fond of writing “FOR SALE. P1” on papers and pasting them in the back of our classmates.

Many people saw the girl but no one told her about it. I guess they were enjoying the idea that the girl was “reserved”.

Because I didn’t like that to happen to me, and because I had enough giggling, I told the girl about it.

Third

On my way home, I saw a street named “third”. Coincidence? Maybe. But I definitely like the idea that “Always Sunset on Third Street” can happen in the Philippines.

Mga natutunan ko mula sa pagsusuot ng pangbabaeng sapatos

1. Hindi ang heels ang nakakasakit sa mga shoes na may heels. Kundi yung pagiging hanggang toes lang ang takip. Bakit?

2. …Kasi kelangan may control sa paglalakad pag ganun ang shoes.

3. Kelangan confident sa paglalakad. Bawal mahiyain. Walang naka-heels na, sobrang nahihiya sa mga tao, pansin mo?

4. Ang paglalakad habang suot ang sapatos pangbabae ay parang pagba-bike. Hindi mo dapat tinitingnan ang paglalakad mo. Chin up!

5. Hindi mo magagamit nang maayos sa paglalakad ang pangbabaeng shoes kung hindi mo susundin ang nasa numbers 2, 3, 4.

6. Tama nga ata talaga yung character sa My Sassy Girl, “You don’t understand women!”, (para sa mga di pa nagsusuot ng pangbabaeng shoes).

7. At… Ang hirap talaga maging babae! Pero masaya. At yung paghihirap na yun naman ay magtuturo sayo ng pagiging matyaga, pagiging confident, pagfo-focus sa isang bagay, at pagta-try and try until your feet die!

“Geon Woo, please exchange shoes with me!”

Nagsimula ang lahat sa pagbili ko ng school shoes noong Linggo. Siguro dahil sa pagod sa paghahanap, yun na lang binili ko.

“Hindi kaya matanggal pag naglalakad ako?”, tanong ko sa sales lady.

“Hindi naman po. May medyas naman.”

Gano kaya kakapal sapalagay nya yung medyas ko?

Kinabukasan, problema na. Nasa bahay palang at sinusubukan kong maglakad, frustrated na ko sa shoes ko! Katulad ng shoes ng kapatid kong kikay na sinubukan ko dati, medyo parang natatanggal yung shoes pag naglalakad ako. Ang natatandaan ko pa nga parang form of zen yung pagsuot ng shoes nya; dapat nakatuon ako sa paglalakad, kundi matatanggal.

One inch lang yung heels ng shoes ko. Hindi yun problema. Ang problema yung part na nakatakip sa toes, medyo lagpas lang sya sa toes kaya ata natatanggal yung sapatos. Pero bakit sa kapatid ko hindi natatanggal?

Tinatanong ko na si mama kung bakit ganun. Sabi nya lagyan ko na lang ng tissue sa loob, baka maluwag lang yun. Pero bakit ang sakit na ng toes ko? Maluwag?

“Ba’t kasi ganun pa binili mo sa kin.”, ako yan. Badtrip na. Pasa lang kay ina.

“Anong ako? Ikaw ang pumili nyan! Sasabihin mong ako..”

“Ikaw naman talaga. Ganyang shoes, pipiliin ko? Pangbabae? Yung closed shoes kaya yung tinuro ko!”

Napag-isip-isip ko, yung hinayupak na sales lady ata pumili nun. Akala ko lang si mama kaya tinanggap ko na. Tsaka medyo gusto ko na rin subukan yung mga damit at sapatos na pangbabae talaga, at di lang pang androgynous (unisex). Naisip ko kasi kung puro hindi pang girly damit ko, masyadong maliit ang choices. Gusto ko all of the choices! “Hindi pang-girly”,at “pang-girl talaga”. Leaving my comfort zone!

Balik tayo sa kwento. Umalis na ko ng bahay nang medyo asar pa rin. Pagkababa ko ng jeep, nadadama ko na ang hirap ng paglalakad. Patingin tingin ako sa mga nakasapatos ng tulad sa kin, at nang malaman ko kung pano ba gamitin yung shoes na yun. Pero wala e, tipong sanay na sanay sila maglakad gamit yun.

Naisip ko na lang nun, “Geon Woo (of my sassy girl), please exchange shoes with me!” at “Kelangan ko na ng bf. Yung makikipagpalit ng shoes sa kin.”

Na-late nga din pala ako dahil sa traffic, at dahil sa pesteng shoes ko! Ang bagal ko maglakad. Buti di ako inabutan ng 2012 dun.

Pagkauwi ko, salampak agad ako sa lapag at nagtanggal ng shoes. Napansin kong medyo napudpod yung heels. Tama nga ata yung sinabi ng kikay kong kapatid, “Di ka marunong maglakad.”

Pagdating ng mas bata kong kapatid, pinasuot ko sa kanya yung shoes at sabi ko, maglakad sya. Hindi naman natatanggal yung shoes sa kanya. Ba’t sa kin, natatanggal?

“Ulit nga. Slow motion. Haha!”

Ah, ayun pala. Ang mali pala sa paglalakad ko, medyo nasasadsad yung shoes.

Sinubukan kong maglakad uli, gamit ang natutunan ko sa aking kapatid. Wow, hindi na natatanggal!

Ilan sa mga naisip ko after ng rampa session with my sister:
1. Hindi ang heels ang nakakasakit sa mga shoes na may heels. Kundi yung pagiging hanggang toes lang ang takip. Bakit?
2. …Kasi kelangan may control sa paglalakad pag ganun ang shoes.
3. Kelangan confident sa paglalakad. Bawal mahiyain. Walang naka-heels na, sobrang nahihiya sa mga tao, pansin mo?
4. Ang paglalakad habang suot ang sapatos pangbabae ay parang pagba-bike. Hindi mo dapat tinitingnan ang paglalakad mo. Chin up!
5. Hindi mo magagamit nang maayos sa paglalakad ang pangbabaeng shoes kung hindi mo susundin ang nasa numbers 2, 3, 4.
6. Tama nga ata talaga yung character sa My Sassy Girl, “You don’t understand women!”, (para sa mga di pa nagsusuot ng pangbabaeng shoes).
7. At… Ang hirap talaga maging babae! Pero masaya. At yung paghihirap na yun naman ay magtuturo sayo ng pagiging matyaga, pagiging confident, pagfo-focus sa isang bagay, at pagta-try and try until your feet die!

A love letter to the Philippines

Dear Philippines,

Ever since I was child, I never cared who you were. You were only talked about when we were in a classroom, during a subject called history. I don’t want to hurt you, but I think you’re aware that most of the children who appeared interested in you were actually interested in the grades their teachers would give them. You were never a subject during conversations with friends. Enthusiastically talking about your past was equal to giving a license to other children to call me insane.

After I left high school, there was a minimal change in my knowledge about you. I still hated history. I believed history was for lucky children who had the talent to almost eat the whole history book because of their memorization skill. I also dumbly believed in the adage “Past is past”. That was why I didn’t care about your history. I thought it was so irrelevant to the present moment and to my generation.

Getting to know you

But that was until I had read an article written by Mr. Ambeth Ocampo.

The article was about the Philippine history. Yes, my dear, your history. Mr. Ocampo has this talent of writing about your history without boring his readers. Reading his articles is just like gossiping about someone whose life is so interesting.

I started reading books that tell about the people who defended you from the foreigners who lusted over your beauty. In the beginning it was Spain. Then America came. Then Japan wanted you too. And who can blame them? You were (and still are) so seductive that no one could resist your temptation. Everyone would kill just to have you.

Eventually, I realized your past is not boring at all, and that your past is relevant to our present. Even some things that happened in your past still happen over and over.

The importance of knowing your loved one

I must tell you too that the more I gain knowledge about who you are, the more you appear so gorgeous to me.

My history teacher can explain this better. During the start of our class, he asked my girl classmate “Would you believe if he (a guy classmate) would say he loves you?”

Of course my classmate wouldn’t believe. Anyone wouldn’t. Remember, they barely know each other? Likewise, one cannot say he loves you if he doesn’t even know who you are, if he doesn’t know your past, your present or the future you were fighting for since hundreds of years ago.

Many Filipinos now join the “Pinoy pride” craze. This is a good thing, of course. I just hope they are not using your name, just to be “cool” or “in”. I just hope they really know who you are. Let Bob Ong remind them this: “Kung hindi mo alam kung sino ka, paano mo maipagmamalaki ang sarili mo?”

The country I will love most

Philippines, you are like a mother who unconditionally loves her children. No matter how much some of the Filipinos hate you, you still give us your water, your food, your land, your animals, your heroic people.

I might visit other countries in the next years. I might even love them, but at the end of the day I still know where I should be, which country I should love most. And that is you.

Your child,
Jenn

Is Being Gay a Sin?

Saudi Arabia banned gays recently. I honestly didn’t know the reason behind this, so I asked my acquaintances. They said it’s because of the country’s religion and culture. For Saudi Arabia citizens, being gay is a sin.

I still don’t understand what’s sinful on being gay. I believe something’s not sinful unless it brings harm to nature, animals, or other people.

I don’t know what religion Saudi Arabians believe in. But here in the Philippines, where Roman Catholic is the predominant religion, many Catholics dislike gays too. It is a sin, they say. Like other Catholic beliefs, this belief regarding gays is an effect of different interpretations of the bible. The bible never stated that being gay is a sin. Gays’ sexual act is. That is how I interpret the bible story about gays in Sodom City.

But then, don’t women and men have sex too? Thus, there’s nothing sinful in having sex itself as long as you’re not harming anyone. And what is it to us if gays have sex? They don’t harm us anyway.

Okay, so one or two gays might have touched your butt. Well, that doesn’t mean all gays are like that. There are even gays who are more respectable than some straight men.

I can understand if gays are not allowed in Saudi Arabia. It’s their culture. There are still many countries where gays can go to anyway. But if they really have to go to Saudi, they have no choice but to obey the rule. As they say: When in Rome, do as the Romans do.

I just hope other countries will not make the same law. If they do, a revolt by gays and some open-minded straight men and women will surely arise.

Spelling out Unconditional Love

What do I think of unconditional love?

There’s unconditional love when someone cares for his pet. There’s unconditional love when someone’s a die-hard fan of a band or artist. There’s unconditional love when parents do everything they can for their children. There’s unconditional love when a stranger gives food to the needy.

There’s unconditional love when you love, yet do not expect to be loved back at all.

So what might be one of the paths to unconditional love? It’s killing expectations. And just focus on giving out love.

Unconditional love shouldn’t be about being a martyr or an idiot. Once you think unconditional love’s like that, that’s the time you have stopped loving unconditionally. For you are already expecting something.

This is how I kill pressure

The day before SQE.

Minsan ayos din pumuntang mall, lalo na pag sobrang pressured ka na.

Ako: Lee punta tayo Tutuban.
Lee: Bakit?
Ako: May bibilhin ako syempre. (After thinking).. Ay wag na nga.
Lee: Ano ba bibilhin mo?
Ako: Wag na nga e.
Lee: Ano dapat bibilhin mo?
Ako: Lapis.
Lee: TNT (tawa nang tawa)

Something true from the Kartilya ng Katipunan

“Maitim man o maputi ang kulay ng balat, lahat ng tao’y magkakapantay: mangyayaring ang sya’y higtan sa dunong, sa yaman, sa ganda, ngunit di mahihigtan sa pagkatao.”

Something true from the Kartilya ng Katipunan, created by Jacinto.